It's Just Another Number

Not a lot of people may know this about me, but I have struggled with my weight on and off since I was in high school. I've always been conscious about what I eat, whether it may be healthy or unhealthy. It has been something that has consumed my thoughts day in and day out. Some days it is more prominent, but regardless, it is a struggle that I continually battle. There are very few days that go by that I don't weigh myself - let's just say that it can be a very unhealthy obsession. But what I find remarkably amazing is that when I don't weigh myself, I feel free and less likely to obsess over feeling either "really fat" or "skinny." I'm even less likely to overeat, because I don't feel depressed over being a pound up or two. The Lord definitely has shown me (over and over) that this is an idol in my life that needs to be smashed. I see this more readily when I get on the scale and I've lost a few pounds - Oh, life is good and my mood has changed. But if I've gained even one pound, I'm so distraught and I beat myself up about it. I am an advocate for taking care of the body, because we have been entrusted by God to do so. But because we are so apt to taking anything good and turning it into an idol, I'm learning I've got to let go of this. I need the Lord so much in this area of my life, because it is an area that I feel like I can control, yet my failures clearly expose my need to let God control it. I'm once again reminded that my identity does not lie in my appearance or a number, but in Christ. I am so thankful that the gospel applies to every area of our lives, even this one. Although I fail in making wise decisions about what I eat, looking to food to satisfy me instead of God, Christ's blood covers even that. Although I find myself back at the point where a number on the scale determines my attitude instead of Christ, His grace is sufficient for me and His mercies are new every morning.

If you too are like me in this, I encourage you to continue putting your hope in Christ. Meditate on the truth always, but even when you feel defeated. And remember that His mercies are new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness!