Daniel Fast

A couple of days ago, I started the Daniel Fast. To be quite honest, at first I was very resistant to doing it, because I know how little willpower I possess. I've never been a person with a lot of discipline, especially when it comes to food. Since high school, food has been my god, my comfort, my refuge, my love, and ironically, my worst enemy. Eating has been a constant roller coaster ride for me, going from one extreme to the other. I think Beth Moore penned it perfectly when she said in her book, Praying God's Word, "....one area exerts tremendous influence over the others." I have found this to be very true in my own life.

Several of the girls on my team to Uganda were talking about doing this fast when they would return to the States. Of course, in my mind, I'm thinking, yeah, I love the thought of it, but I'll never survive. I have NO discipline! So when I got the email earlier this week about the fast and some encouragement to do it, in my heart I was like Noooo!!! But the Lord was so sweet and gentle in His conviction. It was not a forceful, condemning, legalistic hammering. Instead, the Lord revealed my sin and my unwillingness to let Him take control of not only my struggle with food, but so many other areas of my life. And it was His kindness to show me that that led me to repentance and surrender. So now, here I am, on day two, and I have 19 more days to go. It has been an enriching, yet challenging time thus far. But I find myself running to the Lord and His promises in the Word in those moments of weakness - which is EXACTLY where He wants us. ""My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9) I've got a long way to go in this journey, but if you think about it, please pray for me that I will be strengthened to endure to seek God's face. I'm not sharing this with you to be ostentatious or to brag, but to encourage you. I read an article by Dr. Bill Bright and he shared something about fasting that was very enlightening to me (I included the link to his site at the bottom):

Many people are reluctant to tell others that they are fasting so they will avoid the sin of the Pharisees: fasting just to gain recognition for themselves. I strongly believe that attitude is a result of a wrong interpretation of our Lord's teaching and that it is a trick of the enemy who does not want us to fast, nor to share with your loved ones, neighbors and friends the benefits of fasting.

By isolating ourselves from the support of other Christians, we will be more susceptible to doubts and negative influences (both human and demonic). We need the prayer shield of our Christian friends and family members to help us continue when we feel alone and when the enemy tempts us to give up Our Lord as he did Jesus Christ. Eventually, people will notice you are not eating.

For more resources on the Daniel Fast or fasting in general, you can check out these websites:

http://daniel-fast.com/about.html

http://www.ultimatedanielfast.com/2009/10/what-is-daniel-fast.html

http://www.cru.org/training-and-growth/devotional-life/personal-guide-to-fasting/index.htm

Encountering God in a Cave

My walk with the Lord has been quite a challenge since I got home on Saturday. It's hard to fully explain my emotions and thoughts, but simply put, I've been feeling extremely sad, in a daze, and completely lost. I've been going, going, going since January and now everything has come to a standstill. I'm still trying to process my trip to Africa, but I've been bombarded with fears of the future and what I'm supposed to do with my life next. You are probably thinking, What selfish thoughts! I know, how can I be thinking so much of myself after all I saw and experienced in a different country? As much as I wish I could not think about life here, the reality is, this is my home right now and the Lord has work for me to do here. I believe God is at work in my heart and I trust that He is doing much more than what I can see right now. I cling to Philippians 1:6, which says, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

As I woke to the Holy Spirit's nudging early this morning, I got my coffee and opened to the Psalms. It was the only book in the Bible I could find strength to read. I'm so thankful that God gave us the Psalms. It's like they speak what's in your heart when you can't find the words to pray or when your mind is too exhausted and fogged to think straight. The Lord is so faithful. He knew I had no idea which chapter or what verses to read, so He led me to Psalm 142. It was literally the first passage I opened to. I was expecting to fumble through the pages quite a while before actually settling down.

"With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.

I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.

When my spirit faints within me, you know my way!

In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me.

Look to the right and see:

there is none who takes notice of me;

no refuge remains to me;

no one cares for my soul.

I cry to you, O Lord;

I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.

Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low!

Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!

Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name!

The righteous will surround me,

for you will deal bountifully with me."

David wrote this psalm when he was trapped in a cave. He was in a place where nothing else could be a refuge to him. He could only look to the Lord to be his refuge - his hiding place, his comfort, his portion. One commentary from Charles Spurgeon's Treasury of David said, "Caves make good closets for prayer; their gloom and solitude are helpful to the exercise of devotion." David calls aloud to the Lord and "pours out his complaint before him." There is something so significant about David's audible cry to the Lord: to me, it uncovers his utter brokenness, helplessness, and desperation before God. I love that although his spirit faints within him, and the road ahead of him is blurry, he trusts that the Lord will guide him.

From a commentary on Psalm 142: (beautifully put)

I wish you much comfort from David's thought: When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. The Lord is not withdrawn to a great distance, but his eye is upon you. He sees you not with the indifference of a mere spectator; but he observes with attention, he knows, he consider's your path: yea, he appoints it, and every circumstance about it is under his direction. Your trouble began at the hour he saw best, it could not come before; and he has marked the degree of it to a hair's breadth, and its duration to a minute. He knows likewise how your spirit is affected; and such supplies of grace and strength, and in such seasons as he sees needful, he will afford in due season. So that when things appear darkest, you shall still be able to say, Though chastened, not killed. Therefore hope in God, for you shall yet praise him. -- John Newton (1725-1807), in "Cardiphonia."

Once again, the Word did not fail to bring my soul the encouragement I needed today. Although I have no idea what the next step is at this moment, I can rest in knowing that the Lord does. And even though we might find ourselves in a "cave" of solitude and gloom, loneliness and despair, God will meet us there if we just look and cry out to Him.

The Lord meets us where we are..."For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.....God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." ~Romans 5:6, 8

"Send Us to the Nations"

A friend of mine sent me the link to this song...listen and worship God...

https://www.facebook.com/jarodespymusic?v=app_178091127385&app_data=eyJjb250ZW50LnRyYWNrIjoiOTMwOTQyMDgyMzkzMjkyODAifQ%3D%3D

Home from Africa!

Yoga! (That is hello in the Ateso language!)

I made it home safely from East Africa on Saturday afternoon. I think I am finally readjusting to American time. I caught up on some much needed rest Saturday evening and all day Sunday. I am praising the Lord that I am starting to feel better physically. I had gotten sick near the end of our trip and lost my voice over the past few days due to a really bad sore throat. I honestly have no idea how to begin describing my experience over the past two weeks. I am still trying to process everything, so please be patient with me. As of right now, I am struggling to know how to transition back into my normal routine. I have not left my parents' house since I got home from the airport on Saturday. I am somewhat fearful of getting out, because I don't know how I am going to react to the culture here. It would seem like being away for two weeks isn't enough time to really adjust to a different culutre, but being back in the States has made me realize how much I had adjusted. While I was in Uganda, my "problems" and worries at home were forgotten, and even now, they seem so far away. I feel like I'm in a dream, but eventually I am going to have to snap back to the reality of my life here in the US. I have to continue the work here in America...in Raleigh. But now I have a different perspective on life, especially in the midst of a career-driven, money-hungry, success-climbing society. My prayer is that I wouldn't slip back into the same mentality I had before this trip. My prayer is that I would take the treasures of what God taught me and did in my heart there and do something with them here.