A New Perspective

This is kind of long, but I hope you will read it!!

Over the past month, I've been trying to minister to a woman living on the streets, named Tonya. I'll never forget the day I met her. As I was getting ready for work, I grumbled and complained to my parents about how much I didn't like my job and how I wanted so bad to get out of it. I went on and on about it, just letting my heart marinate in my discontent and ungratefulness. Pulling out of my street, I began to pray and ask the Lord to change my heart. God, you've got to change my attitude right now. I can't seem to get out of this funk! It only took just a few minutes for God to answer my prayer. About five minutes from my house, I stopped at a light, waiting to turn onto the interstate. There was a woman standing on the median right next to me holding up a sign that said, "Live on the streets." My heart immediately broke. I know we've all passed judgments on people begging for money, and it's hard to trust if they're really being sincere, but regardless, the Lord used this woman to turn my heart back to Him in that moment. It was a reminder that there are so many people living on the streets with so many needs, and here I was complaining in my comfortable home about a job that the Lord graciously gave me.

I rolled down my window and talked to her for a few minutes. I didn't have any cash on me (as usual) but gave her all the change I had. I asked her what her name was, and I told her I would be praying for her. After I drove off, I broke down crying, asking the Lord to forgive me of my ungratefulness. It's easy to become spoiled in this country. We are surrounded by so much stuff and we fall into a trap of thinking that we need it all - success, a big house, the best clothes, nice cars, ect- in order to be happy. But God has given me abundantly more than all that. He has given me abundantly more than what I deserve. I deserve hell. That's all that I deserve. But God, who is rich in mercy, saved me, not by any righteous deed I've done, but only by His amazing love and kindness. When we were still in our sins, Christ died for the ungodly. What is this love? Why on earth would God give His One and Only Son to die for a wretched sinner like me? This is the remarkable love of Christ. There is no god like this God. Do you know Him? I pray that you do...

For the past several weeks I have been encountering my friend, Tonya. I always seem to find her on the days that I'm either on my way to work or have to be somewhere. I try to talk to her when I can and give her food or money. I had been wanting to take her to get something to eat so that I could sit down with her and listen to her story. Well, this morning God gave me the opportunity I had been asking for. As I was coming home from a doctor's appointment, I saw her standing at her usual spot. I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart to turn around and go get her. And so I did just that. I was kind of nervous about asking her if I could take her to get some breakfast, because I didn't know how she'd respond. But I am so glad I listened to the Holy Spirit.

When she got in my car, I was asking her how she was doing and she said that she was sick with seasonal allergies. I could see her eyes swelling with tears as she talked to me. She needs allergy shots, but she can't afford them every two weeks. I told her that I wanted to hear her story, where she came from, and how she got here. When she told me that she is running from domestic violence, I thought to myself, This woman is in need. Big time. Oh, God, help me to show her Your love today. Somehow. Someway. All I could think about was how my help wouldn't be enough. When I told her that I wish I could do more than just buy her a meal, she told me that she just wants someone to listen to her. Isn't that what we all need sometimes? We just want to know that someone cares enough to listen. Let me tell you something. The Holy Spirit really ministered to my heart in a big way today. Keep reading.

The Lord graciously opened up a door of opportunity for me to share the gospel with her. She said that she is saved and that she talks to God every morning and every night. I pray that she genuinely knows Christ. I told her that the Lord has put her on my heart to tell her that He loves her so much. I just kept telling her over and over about the love of Christ.

After we sat at Burger King for a while, I took her over to Good Will to find her some clothes. She had been wearing the same tattered clothes for a really long time. Thankfully, we found a pair of pants and a shirt that fit her.

The whole time I was with her, I just felt like God had somewhat given me His eyes and His heart to see her the way He does. I just wanted to reach out and touch her and make everything better for her. Please understand that I am not in any way trying to boast in what I did. It is the Lord's compassion that came over me and compelled me to reach out to this woman. I want to help Tonya. She has been created in the very image of God and He loves her as much as He loves you and me. Dropping her off back on the streets was not easy. I find it difficult to just sit back and forget about her, knowing all the things she has been through and will continue to suffer through. I could've been in her situation, but I'm not. It could be me shivering on the cold streets, desperately hoping for someone to lead me out of despair.

Please pray for Tonya. She needs the love of God more than anything. But she also has physical needs. I am praying that the Lord would lead me and show me how to help her. If you are able to do anything, then I would invite you to take part in the mission.

I hope this story can be an encouragement to you today. I pray that the Lord would open our eyes to the world around us. We live in a sin-infected world and cannot escape it. But God has given us the greatest hope and joy in Christ to endure it.

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (Matthew 25:37-40)

A Surprising Encounter

Yesterday afternoon I went to the school library between classes to write some letters. It didn't take me long though, to realize that it was too beautiful of a day to be inside, so I headed to one of the seminary benches outside. I plopped down, pulled out my writing gear, and got to work, all the while soaking up the sun's warmth and drinking in the cool, crisp air. Little did I know what was about to happen. As I was writing, I could hear footsteps from a distance, cutting across the lawn, and I could tell they were coming towards me. I didn't think anything of it, until a homeless man approached me from the side asking me for 75 cents to buy himself something to eat at Hardee's. I don't usually carry around cash, but I looked in my wallet for some change. I managed to scrape up 56 cents. I handed him the money and he thanked me. Then he asked me a question that I couldn't believe I was hearing. He said, "Can you tell me who Jesus is?" I was like, What!? (I didn't actually say that!) The first thought that came to my mind (and you're probably going to laugh) was, Is this guy undercover for the seminary? I mean he could've been hired by the school to go undercover to report back to all of the staff, letting them know if these seminary students really know how to share their faith. Ha! Probably not, but that was just what was going on in my head. After he asked me that question, I repeated back to him what he was asking, "Who is Jesus?" I think I was dumbfounded, because I've never had anyone flat out ask me who Jesus is! He responded back, "Yeah, I keep hearing people around here talking about Jesus. Who is Jesus?" And so I proceeded to tell him. I told him that Jesus is the Son of God, and then I asked the man if he knew who God is, and so forth. I tried to start at the beginning, explaining the fall and sin and the result of our sin. Before I could finish, the man quickly rejected it, saying that he didn't believe that. He began to tell me about his Muslim friend who believes he will have 13 virgins in the afterlife. I tried explaining to him that there's no guarantee of eternal life for all other religions and that they are all works-based. But if you trust in Jesus, you don't have to work your way to heaven. He has given us a free gift. He kept interjecting and then finally, he didn't want to hear it anymore and said he needed to go. He said he was homeless and needed to eat. He was hungry. So he walked off. I started to cry as I watched him walk away, and felt so burdened for this man whom I just met. I felt like I was watching him through Christ's eyes. The rejection hurt me because I love the gospel so much and I am more and more grateful every day for Christ's saving power over my sin. To hear this man just say, "I don't believe that," cut me deeply, because it was Christ, the One who's name I bear, who was being rejected. His name is John, so please pray for him. Pray that God would heal his blindness and that his heart would not be hardened to the gospel anymore. Pray that he would trust and believe in Jesus Christ, the ONLY WAY. Pray also that God would continue putting the right people in his path. Please...pray.


1 Corinthians 1:18 (ESV) - "For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the POWER OF GOD." Amen.

1 Peter 3:15-16 (ESV) -"but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame."

Sleepless Nights = Deep Thoughts

Okay, so here I am blogging at 1 am. I haven't been keeping up with my blog, but I decided tonight that I'd give it a whirl again. I have so much on my heart and mind that I can't possibly sleep. So many things that God is revealing to me - exciting things that are happening in my heart and life, but also things that burden me deeply. It's overwhelming to think about all of the people I know who don't know Christ. How am I okay with not sharing the gospel with them and how do I sleep at night knowing they are headed to a very real place, called hell, that separates them from God eternally? Why am I comfortable with just me knowing Christ, and not concerned enough to tell others about God's free gift of Salvation? May the Lord give all believers a relentless passion and zeal for Him, treasuring and loving Him, and may Christ's love for us move our hearts to pouring out His love on others.

Something else that God has recently been laying on my heart so heavily is the Body of Christ and the role that it plays in my life. I don't think I've ever felt such a longing to be with the church as I do right now at Providence. I absolutely love my church family, and even though at times I feel small there (because it is a big church), it reminds me that I am just one child in this big family. It pulls me out of my individualistic mindset and instead, points me to a bigger picture- that God designed us to worship Him together, as members of one body. We are not to live this life in isolation and deal with our "stuff" alone, but we are called to "bear[ing] with one another," and "forgive each other." (Colossians 3:12-17). Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV) says, "Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

Lord, thank you for showing me these truths. I pray that the hope of the gospel would penetrate my life through and through. I pray the same for all believers everywhere.

Christmas 2009

I must say that Christmas was very special for me this year. I had the joy of waking up to the sound of "Merry Christmas," all throughout the house from the littlest member of our family...my 2 and 1/2- year old nephew, Nathan. I could hear his footsteps growing louder as he made his way to my bedroom door. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the door swing open. There he stood as though he were 6 ft. tall. "Merry Christmas!" he shouted with enthusiasm. How could my day get any better than this?

Nathan received his first brand new drum set. He's definitely a natural :) He was counting to 8 before he started to drum. Now how many two year olds do you know who can count in beats?

I was very encouraged to see how excited Nathan was to give gifts. He was helping his mommy and daddy hand out presents and you could tell he enjoyed that. It was also fun for him to help tear open the packages.

I was blessed to have received some really nice things, but all in all, my favorite part of this Christmas was celebrating the greatest gift to mankind, Jesus Christ, with my family. It is so upsetting and sickening to see how much Christmas has become about us. A few days before Christmas, I was walking through the masses of people in the mall and I just thought to God, "Lord, why are we doing all this? Are we making a big deal about You or about ourselves?" The focus of Christmas has sadly turned on our society and commercialism.

I am so undeserving of everything I have and let this be a lesson to us all- when you think you should have more or you're dissatisfied with what you have, count your blessings, with number 1 being God's most gracious gift, Salvation, and you will be amazed.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

None But Jesus

Lord, help me not to get distracted by the criticisms and the pointed fingers, but let my eyes be ever fixed on You. Let the world and all of its desires fade away 'till all I see is You. For You are what matters in this life and nothing else.

"None But Jesus," by Hillsong

In the quiet
In the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You, Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You, Lord
Forever more


Amen.

Sacrifice

I had no idea that it has been over a year since my last blog was written! I guess I still prefer the old-fashion way of journaling with pen on a fresh, blank page in a beautifully bound journal. But since these days are all about the worldwide web, I suppose it would be beneficial to me to do a little more with technology. Besides, who knows who reads these things? Maybe there is someone out there following this who finds encouragement in it. Or it is quite possible that not even a single soul reads this and that doesn't bother me one bit. :) Only God knows. I'll leave it at that.

I just recently picked up "Passion and Purity," by Elizabeth Elliot for the second time. The Lord has been teaching me a lot through that woman. She possesses so much wisdom- she's probably one of the godliest women I've never actually met. I thank the Lord for godly figures like her who have willingly opened themselves to allow Him to use them in any way He sees fit.

Here is something I gleaned from one of the chapters of the book. It hit home for me. Sacrifice. Why does that word make me feel uneasy? Why is there a struggle deep within me when I think about offering up my money or my time or my words? "When the will of God crosses the will of man," Addison Leitch said, "somebody has to die." "Life requires countless "little" deaths - occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God." (Elizabeth Elliot) See, God gives us material for sacrifice. So often we say (and I am included), "Oh, well God gave it to me. He wants me to have this." And we get upset, even angry at God when something is taken from us or He asks us to give it up. How many times do we sacrifice the good things, the pure things of God - security, honor, self-respect, the welfare of people we love, obedience to God- all to gratify the desires of our flesh. Don't I owe it to Him to give Him my all, my everything? Although I have no idea what He will do with these offerings, He knows what to do with them. He is my Father and He knows what is best for His child. Psalm 84:11-12 says this: "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." Cling to this promise if you are weary and trust that everything that is happening in your life is to refine you, to strengthen you, to build you, to shape and mold you to be more and more like Jesus and to bring you ever-so closer to His heart. Continue to offer it up, no matter how good or bad it seems. He wants it all.

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" ~Romans 8:29-32~

Learning to Trust

I think we can all agree that life is made up of an infinite number of possibilities and it came be a bit overwhelming at times . We are constantly faced with decisions to make, and sometimes we reach those crossroads where we just don't know what to do. How do we know which way to go? What will be the outcome? And how do we know we made the right turn? I am kind of at that point where I am stuck and I am finding myself trying to take my life into my own hands. This is an extremely awkward time of my life, because I am getting ready to graduate and I'm about to make a huge transition from being in school to being out in the "real world." I don't know exactly what I'm going to do when I graduate and that makes me very anxious. On a lighter note, though, I believe God is calling me into ministry, specifically music, which I've always felt led by Him to do. I'm just now starting to submit and surrender completely to the Lord and let Him move and work through me. It is such an exciting time of my life, but I am nervous because of the unknown. Doors of opportunity are swinging wide open and the Lord is leading me through! Everything that has been happening lately lines up perfectly with what God has been revealing to me. I am just in awe of Him! I'm trying not to be hesitant anymore, but instead I am stepping out in confidence and faith, KNOWING that God holds all things together and WILL NEVER fail me. He is soooo good!